dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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