Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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