I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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