I didn't shave. On purpose
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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