At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
