I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
