I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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