I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
