I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
