He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
