Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You dont lie about slip and slides
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
