Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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