And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
only if we run a train.
done.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
