I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have fence marks all over my body
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
