operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
