I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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