I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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