More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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