i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
