You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize