Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
