i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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