Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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