wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
