I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she smelled like a LAN party
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
