what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
