Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
BRING THE BAGELS
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
