I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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