Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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