So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
