he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
