The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
