I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
