yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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