She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize