she was so not down for the gang bang
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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