Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
