I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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