How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
