remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
