the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My bed smells like the plague
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
