I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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