How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
