I didn't shave. On purpose
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
