I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
