I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
