My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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