My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
