Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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