i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
