I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
