i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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