Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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