oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
