no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
