Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
