come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think people are normalizing furries
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
