You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize