I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
