Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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