u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
my poor anus
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize