it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
