threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
