I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
