So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
