Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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