South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
