If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
