Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
