Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
