Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it's like iHOP with fire
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
