you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
