just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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