That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
