Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
