dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i now understand why vodka
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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